I don’t know why, but my depression came back. I struggled with it for so long and thought that I had finally beaten it, finally being happy again. I was so happy for a few years and I felt like everything was perfect and now all I do is stare off into space, finding nothing fulfilling and finding myself thinking of cutting my skin open more constantly that I think about anything else. Even as I study for school, thoughts of my warm blood running down my arm make their way into my head. Everything sets me off and I either get really fucking angry or I just start bawling my eyes out. I can’t even watch a movie without feeling personally offended by the stupid shit that goes on. That is to say that I don’t get bored and switch to something else.
I honestly don’t know if I can make it through this time. I don’t think I’m strong enough
im in one of those periods in my life where i cant focus on anything i cant finish an assignment i cant listen to one song for more than 5 seconds i cant sit through a tv show episode i cant finish a book i cant write a story
all i can do is stare blankly at the wall and wish i had something to do but everything i could do or want to do is just supremely unsatisfying